Handling an Emergency When You Live Alone

According to www.weareapartments.org, there are 289,000 people who are residents in 187,500 apartment homes in the state of Kentucky. What matters to me, however, is that over the weekend I became one of them and something dreadful happened which made me wonder when our emergency 9-1-1 system is going to wise up and accept TEXT messages. Never mind, that MAYBE, just maybe, this really could only happen to me. In reality, I know it could happen to anyone.

Generally, I live alone. What happens when someone who lives alone encounters a life-threatening emergency? Last night, something really scary occurred while I was wolfing down dinner, while also tweeting, watching a DVD and reading a magazine. I knew it immediately. I little tiny piece of baked potato got sucked down my windpipe and in a split second I thought I was truly going to die.

And you know what one of my first thoughts was? You know that old saying about not being caught dead wearing such-and-such outfit? Yeah. That was what I thought. Briefly, while I pondered calling 9-1-1 and also thinking, “I can’t do that because I CAN’T SPEAK!” I looked down at my yoga pants and T-Shirt and thought:

“Oh, God! I can’t let someone find my body wearing this! Wait, do I have any makeup on???”

Followed by: “Do I have time to change before I pass out?”

Followed by: “Wait, can I text my situation to the 9-1-1 operator? I can type! But I can’t talk.” When the realization set in that I was choking and no longer breathing, I tried to cry but no sound came out. Then my chest began to hurt. Then I wondered if I was having a heart attack on top of choking to death. Then I thought maybe I should text my son or my daughter and let them know I need help.

Finally, the will to live kicked in and I doubled over and tried to dislodge the obstruction. Falling to my knees, collapsing, I still could not breathe and I could not cough. I don’t know if you have ever heard someone trying valiantly to get a breath of air, but it is something I will never forget. It is a sound of utter despair.

Just as I stood up and leaned forward I forced air into my closed windpipe. The rest is history now, since obviously it worked. Half an hour later, writhing in pain as every intake of air expanded a lung that would not fill without a fight, a violent coughing fit ensued. Sorry – don’t mean to be so graphic. Nothing was ever coughed out and even now, I have moments of terror at the memory.

It makes me wonder though. How many others live alone in our apartment communities who may not have someone in the next room to help them during just such an emergency? Wouldn’t it be great if our emergency response system could accept text messages?

There's No Such Thing As Zero Income

In the world of multifamily housing, dealing with income-based housing specifically, I can categorically state there is no such thing as having no income. Just as there most likely are no immaculate conceptions. However, if you examine many verification processes, you may discover quite a few residents in your communities whose files indicate otherwise.

True stories.

I was new to working with residents in our project based Section 8 community years ago when I was was interviewing a mother with two children. One child was a newborn requiring a lot of care. She reported she was not working, no longer able to receive cash assistance and therefore had no income. That struck me as odd, so I casually asked, "Are you nursing then?"

She looked at me with a questioning expression. "No," she answered. "Why is that your business?"

I told her, "If you aren't nursing, then how do you feed your baby? Is the baby wearing cloth diapers? Because if not, how are you buying diapers?" With further questioning, she admitted that she receives help. "And how much is your baby's father giving you to pay for things?"

Later, after some experience interviewing, I was talking to a resident for her Annual Recertification and commented that she has a car. Is the car insured? Who is paying the insurance? And for those who answered they don't pay for it, a lot of times I find the car is not registered to the resident. Hummm. I would simply say, "If your child's father wants you to have a car, then he should put your name on the registration and pay the insurance. And by the way,you have a state ID. Does that mean you don't have a drivers license?"

I love it when those who smoke come in to Recertify. "How do you pay for your cigarettes?"

People have some kind of income. They often do not like to report it. Whether they receive money from panhandling, doing odd jobs, mowing the grass, recycling bottles or scrap metal, they get money somehow. The thing is residents are fearful of admitting their truths. It takes a certain level of trust to get our residents to understand we don't judge them, we just want to understand  their story so we can help them. There are programs and resources out there. It's up to those on he front lines of housing to build that trust so we can educate our Residents on where to go for help if they want or need it.

My favorite story was the senior citizen whose apartment was heavily trafficked during the first week of every month. Finally I went to her apartment to check it out for myself. I knocked and she invited me inside. I noticed a stand up freezer (against our rules) and I asked her why she had a freezer. She proudly opened the door and said, "Now, Miss Mindy, you ain't gonna make me get rid of it, are you?" I peeked inside. It was filled with meat.

"That's quite a lot of meat! Why do you have so much? Looks like a butcher shop in here!"

Turns out she was selling it for other's food stamps.

You Can't Only Show Up, People!

Two weeks of actual management on my new sites has made an impact on me and frankly, I am not proud of my initial emotional reaction to the situation. However, regardless of any problems with the team (lacking any team spirit), with insane micromanagement (a survival technique necessary when there is no onsite manager), with adjustment to new technologies (there’s a different software program for every property management task, no kidding) and just trying to find my way around a new area, I am adamant that I find a way to break through and turn this situation around.

These communities have had no consistent leadership for months on end, let alone anyone committed and passionate about building the communities into something more than “The Projects” as they are currently known to everyone I have mentioned the names to while exploring outreach marketing opportunities. That is sad in itself, of course, and at the very least it gives me a starting point. Ideally, I would love to change the communities’ names (I don’t think that is possible … yet?) and I would like to market our programs differently (which is totally, absolutely possible.)

Our communities lie next to a beautiful luxury community for seniors age 55+ and in close proximity to two other communities, one of which was revamped as a Green initiative offering recycling (They are all sister communities.) Of course, I am just “brainstorming” and “daydreaming” but I believe that my communities can become a place of connection: connecting Residents to not only safe, decent, and sanitary housing, but also to social resources, including a new youth initiative that is working to become self-sufficient. Bringing services into the property will build us into a real community – that is my goal. Apartment communities MUST develop themselves into cohesive, comfortable places for Residents to feel at home, to come home to and to see what possibilities may lie ahead so that they grow and prosper.

It isn’t enough that our maintenance and management staffs come to work every day. Just showing up is not enough. I intend to challenge our attitude that it is. It starts tomorrow – either we come together and focus on our Residents or we stay apart selfishly focusing on the philosophy of “What’s In It For Me?” I do not see myself as a boss. I see myself building a team that thinks about what is in the best interest of the property, Residents, company, team and themselves last. The self-centered way of doing things stops tomorrow. This may be a rocky road for a lot longer, but I know this is the only way for these properties to gain a better reputation, happier residents, and a new “lease on life.” It starts with me and it starts right now.

Lost In Transition

Tell me again why change is good? Oh, yeah, right. If change doesn’t occur, then you really have no reason to grow, whether that growth is internal or external. However, with impending change, one has to learn to adapt and roll, accept and climb, and move forward. Therein lies my routine of late … and I think I am a bit lost in transition!

I’ve experienced many opportunities to live through transitional periods, like most people have. After all, I have been mostly on my own since I was ten years old. You would think it would not throw me like this latest transition has. Well, maybe not exactly thrown me, but at least made me scramble to work through details: find a new job, decide on where to live: apartment or house, make moving arrangements (a two-state move to a third state; where to shop – heck, even where to park my car when I am onsite. I read that one of the last managers had her car stolen her third week there.)

My adventure has started! I decided on a new company, accepted a new position, and secured a new place to live. I hired movers and am relocating items from one state while they are loading items in another. I think (who really knows?) I have placed stop orders for cable, internet, mail and start orders in the new place for these services. I believe I have most of my little ducklings in a row and am ready to get this show on the road. During this process, I have learned one thing. Moving is not for sissies.

When I started my new position, I made arrangements to stay in an Extended Stay motel located not too far from the properties and right next to the airport. When I arrived, no one else was around and the person who checked me in was fabulous. She printed off the directions for the properties for me so I could have a back-up to ones I hastily jotted down from my iPad. It was quiet, and I settled in for my two-week stay.

Staying in a motel reminded me of living in the dorm in college. Back in the day, you could take a little electric pot, place on the desk, cook Ramen noodles, a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, or even stir fry. It was a college student’s basic necessity. Nowadays, colleges do not allow this. Of course, in my day, you weren’t supposed to have alcohol either but I had a full bar in mine. (I was seventeen.) Room inspections? What is that? They never did that. I think the RAs actually do perform such things nowadays. Anyway, the motel had a microwave but every time I used it, it set off the smoke detector – which freaked out not only me but also the neighbors in the next rooms. I decided I wished I had my little electric pot from college.

Staying there in the evenings left me a lot of time to think and reflect on my past, present and future, which is always good for the soul. In fact, I need that kind of time frequently. This time of transition, as some others in my life, left me feeling lost. I don’t like that feeling. I started remembering the worst transition time in my life. The time when I was sick, fighting for my life and my husband told me he wished I would just go ahead and die. He was tired of this process. (It was a three to four year process, and I was only in the first few months of it when he said that.) The next day I filed for divorce. It wasn’t that he said it to me, but he said it within earshot of our son and I could not deal with that. I guess if he had said it to me in private we might still be together. That whole illness, treatment and getting better propelled me into the notion that I might actually make it out of that hell intact and stronger than ever.

Looking back, I marvel that my two children and I managed to succeed against all odds. Now, I am looking at all these new changes in my life and I can honestly say I am thrilled to be moving in a new direction. I know I can make a difference at these properties. I KNOW I have an Action Plan for progress. I KNOW I am here for a reason. I do not think I will be lost in this transition for long.

Wrapping It Up

December 20, 2012 found me sitting in an office confirming the final reads for utilities, confirming that the static IP address was canceled and with no phone ringing, I wondered what will happen next. The office had been cleared of all marketing materials, cleaned for the new Owners due to take over the following day, and there were two people anxiously awaiting the end of an era. At one point, I looked at the Maintenance Tech and asked him to go do something, anything, because he was making me a nervous wreck with his pacing in and out and asking me every two seconds if the deal was closed yet.

“Yes, the deal is closed. What we will be waiting on tomorrow is the exchange of funds. Once the money hits our Owner’s account, he will call and tell us to give whoever is here from the other company, the keys,” I said.

“And that’s tomorrow, right?” he asked.

“Yes. That’s the way it will work.”

Wrapping up the deal, the final Hoorah, requires attention to detail, patience and the ability to swallow my pride, as well as hold back tears. Endings are sad and I am NOT good at saying good-bye to people I like, let alone passing the reins to a company who chose to handle the purchase of our community as nothing more important than the purchase of a pound of ground beef.

December 21, 2012 dawned with a major weather advisory. How is it that we didn’t even experience temperatures much below 45 degrees all last winter and this winter we get hit with sleet, freezing rain and snow on this important day? Technically, the property was not even mine now, though I opened the Office and readied it for … someone new. The computers were gone; there was no internet, no cable service, no good treats any more and Christmas was only four days away. I had planned to bring in cookies, but sometimes the best laid plans don’t always work out. So, now there was the two of us, one who was asked to remain on board and me, who was deemed expendable, sitting and waiting. I thought to bring in a magazine but Greg just sat there. Staring.

And the phone did not ring. At all. For hours. Finally, I called our boss and explained I had an appointment and with the weather raging unkindly outside, I needed to leave. So, I had no idea what took place until I arrived back around 8:30 PM to a little note stuffed in my door.

It was addressed to: Occupant

How classy is that? Why wouldn’t you address your new ownership letter to Resident?

“Dear Occupant” it began. My heart stilled. I read each word quietly reflecting on its simplicity (and one grammatical error.) I still feel strongly about the Residents and to know the new Owners look at them as Occupants made me particularly sad. I don’t care what great plans they may have for the buildings, when the Residents read “Dear Occupant” they will not be impressed, I thought to myself.

Life as a Prospect

Expectations. Professionalism. Client centered. All of these words are important to someone currently focusing on finding, securing, and starting employment with a new company. All words I want to attribute to a new company with whom I want to forge a new relationship, not unlike being single looking for love. Maybe there is no difference. Certainly there are many similarities.

The past two weeks have found me traveling all over the country for various interviewing opportunities. Each company has varied in its approach to interviewing, its level of professionalism, in the amount of attention given to me, the hopeful, though decidedly wary of the process prospect. It is so important that I do not make a mistake in this process. After all, I want this relationship to LAST. It has occurred to me, on more than one occasion, I am representative of the apartment hunter – surely they, too, are wary of the process of walking into our Leasing Offices, of meeting with a leasing agent, hopeful of locating the perfect home where they can set up a place to LIVE, not just exist.

I know one thing. The next time I stand up to greet someone who walks through the Leasing Office door, I truly will understand their trepidation, their fear of the unknown, their questioning of whether or not I care about them and their needs and wants. I am also looking for a new place to live, so by virtue of being in the same place they are, I do understand. I can commiserate. I can empathize! This will make me a better Manager. I think it will also make me a better person.

No longer will I settle. This is not the time in life to settle for “just enough.” It is the time to seek the challenge and to figure it out. It’s time to put into practice, again, the tried and true and also the unique approach to issues. Now that I have found The Company and will soon decide on a Home, I am ready for 2013: all the pieces will soon fall into place and my picture will be complete. I cannot wait to get started.

Everything Teaches Us Something We Need to Know

When I turn off the lights at 6:00 tonight, it will be the last time I do so under the name of Freestone, so today is a bittersweet day for me. It’s a great day for the Owner! Doesn’t matter how you get your profits, it only matters that you do. And I understand that. What is a little more difficult to understand is an Owner who does not come in person to say, “Good bye.” Maybe that is normal … to have no definitive closure, no formal way to bid someone a fond farewell. I have never experienced it this way, to be sure.

As I look out the window at this gray, windy day that is neither warm nor cold, I think the somber mood is reflected in the little puddles of rain collected in an indentation on the ground. But inside, I feel not sad, but hopeful. I am really more of an optimist than a pessimist. (When I was twelve I could be a Debbie Downer extraordinaire, but nowadays, I choose to look up, rather than down!) It’s much more fun to see the bright side of things (when you can) than to dwell on the negative.

I believe that every experience I have had is leading me somewhere. In just two short years, I have the opportunity to learn so many incredible things. Just think. If this happened (my company selling off all "our" properties) when I was just starting out (and to see "your" company come to an end) I would have given up, thrown in the towel, said I could not do that again. After all, it is not often you find a great mentor who teaches you the business as mine has, or one who allows you to run with your marketing ideas full force, one who says, “Make us a website! Hook us up on Facebook! Create brochures - do it. Do it all! Supervise this construction project! I don't need to handle that; you can do it." You can do it. Magical words! It is rare to find someone who criticizes in a kind and gentle way and lets you make a mistake or two and then allows you to fix it. I have the utmost respect for this person.

After eight plus years, this is the hardest part about moving on; it’s leaving behind people you care about and admire. I know this isn’t the end of my relationship with my boss (hey, I know he will be there if I want to bounce an idea around, even at eleven at night and there’s always email) but it is the end of our day-to-day working relationship (for now.) I wonder if he will feel the effects of his own “Empty Nest,” but perhaps this is good preparation for him for when his oldest leaves for college next year. It just goes to show you, for everyone, everything that happens prepares us for the next step, the next adventure, next job, the next radical, awful, wonderful or special event that will happen. Personally, I am looking forward to seeing what new is being planned for me in life!