Funny Stuff People Say In the Leasing Office

There are some funny (haha) conversations to be heard in a Leasing Office. There are also some funny (strange) ones, too. Every day either one or both occur and for various reasons. Here it is the twentieth of the month and this property is still trying to collect THIS month’s rent from some of its residents. People here do not even try to hide the fact that they aren’t paying on time – mostly because the rent collection policy has never been enforced.

When one of the Leasing Consultants finally did the inevitable – turned in her two-week notice – then the funny (haha) and funny (exasperating) conversations began to occur in the course of the interview process. Working in property management gives one a crash course in determining truth or dare situations, and there are many when it comes to collecting rent payments and interviewing candidates for jobs,

The thing that grates my nerves is having the UPS or FED EX delivery person drop off a package in the Office for a Resident who still owes rent. I usually pick up the phone and call them right away to let them know that they have a package so I can ask them, “Why?” I mean, I understand that it could be a gift from someone but really, if I were in those circumstances, I would almost feel obligated to beg forgiveness. Worse is the couple who went to a local Rent-a-Center and the business faxed over a Reference Request. Really? You guys owe $900 in rent but you want to rent furniture????

Then there are those residents who come into the Office for the purpose of turning in their keys – and they still have several months left on their lease. When I explain this, they look at me and say:

“We bought a house.”

“I lost my job and I paid this month’s rent already. I have next month’s rent, too, but I am not sure about that last month, so we packed up and moved.” I am thinking that gives you sixty days to find another job, plus your wife could also work.

My personal favorite: “Our lease is over so we moved.” When I explain they are obligated to provide a written notice, they tell me, “Oh, yeah? Even if we weren’t planning to renew?” I explain that yes, they are supposed to give notice so that we can market and re-rent their apartment. Otherwise, how would we know what their plans are if they don’t communicate them to us?

But some of the funniest things that are said happen during the interview process.  Interviewing someone for the position of Leasing Consultant one day, I asked, “Do you like talking on the telephone?” never expecting to hear, “Oh, no. I try to get off the phone as quick as I can!” I looked across the table at her and asked, “You do understand that as a Leasing Consultant the bulk if your time is answering calls, don’t you?”

My personal favorite though is the person who asks if she will need to work weekends, because, after all, I have a life and the weekends is when I really get to live it. Let me pause a moment while I ponder that remark. Yeah - I am not so sure you are the right fit for this job.

The Art of Sale Doesn't Compare To the Art of Being a Mother

Today is a good day to be brutally honest, I think. Today is Mother’s Day and I would just like to say “Thank You” to the man who made me a mother, the one true passion in my life besides work. I used to say that my drawing was my second passion above work and behind motherhood; however, because I suffer from limited feeling in my hands, that part of me is somewhat stifled. Maybe I just lost my creative edge.

All I ever wanted to be, really, was a mother. I love children. I love everything about them: their curiosity, their truthfulness, their zest for learning, their energy! Their ability to believe is incredible and wonderful. They trust. They thirst for life and enjoy laughing, giggling and caterpillars. They long for the day when they become butterflies.

As a mother, I love teaching them, laughing and giggling with them, rubbing their backs as I sing them to sleep, watching them close their eyes with their lovely long eyelashes brushing their cheeks. As I watch, I realize there is a wayward tear gliding down mine. I miss those days.

So, today, I remember their birthdays, the ones that made me a mother, my two beautiful, wonderful, talented, intelligent, oh so funny, children who are now butterflies, flying to their own heights, making their own way in this wide world. Adults. Wow. When did that happen?

And even though this weekend I worked in the Leasing Office so that the Leasing Consultant could spend this Mother’s Day with her family, and even though I closed five leases, the high euphoria experienced at the close of the sale can never compare with being a mother, and I am grateful to their father who gave me the greatest joy I could ever know. Happy Mother’s Day to all those who mother someone or something in whatever way they do.

But My Lease Ended Already, You Moron!

Long story short, I spent more than enough time trying to defuse a volatile situation yesterday due to a) a misunderstanding; b) a miscommunication and/or c) a clerical error. I am still not sure which is responsible for this nineteen year old pair of roommates who were sitting in front of me telling me their lease ended the day prior and cussing me out for a) having tricked them into signing a year lease; b) having falsified the lease document because they NEVER would have signed a year lease – why would they when they would be graduating at the end of April?????; and/or c) just plain not caring and trying to take advantage of their inexperience by not reminding them of their lease expiration.

Not only did I have to endure their glares, sneers, and profanity, but I also had to speak with parents on the phone and meet with one’s father for an extended period of time. A time during which his daughter sat with arms crossing muttering, “It’s not fair; I am not going to pay!” (and you can’t make me!) His conversation came around with his accusation that our Office had altered the Lease end date and that we were taking advantage of his innocent, sweet, and naïve daughter.

“We would be happy to look over your daughter’s copy of the Lease and compare the two,” both the Leasing Consultant and I chimed in on several occasions. Of course neither roommate could produce her copy. Her father proceeded to point out that the way the original lease signing took place was not “correct” to which I replied that I am always looking for ways to improve that process; however, when I conduct lease signings, it takes an hour or so and I am very thorough. I also said that even though I was not present at that time (or, even an employee at that time) I was trying to help him. Inevitably, it led to the father asking for Corporate’s number.

Ultimately, from my point of view, and because no one can remember exactly what was said in a phone call, on any given day at any given moment, the written lease agreement is the decision maker. This is why I explain that the lease agreement a new Resident or a renewing Resident is signing is a legally binding contract and should be entered into reverently – something not unlike a marriage.

Naturally, no one is going to be happy about this outcome. On the one hand, I have two young ladies threatening everything from a lawsuit to posting terrible reviews online (which they are probably going to do anyway based on their level of anger on any given day for whatever reason) to knowing that it is the responsibility of all parties to enter into a contract with confidence they understand the clauses. The teacher in me is screaming that perhaps what we should follow up every lease signing with, in addition to the keys to the apartment, is a test covering all of the most contested points of the contract: giving written notice – required; breaking or terminating a lease early; late fees; what happens if your check bounces; utility charges, including who pays for what; when rent is due … Until the person can actually pass the test with a perfect score, they can’t get their keys.