Quiet People Should Be a Protected Class!

April is National Fair Housing Month. I’d like to make a suggestion. Could we please petition Congress (I know, almost an absurdity at the very suggestion) to create a subsection of protected classes and include QUIET PEOPLE? 

I rent an apartment. This is my second renewal which means I am in my third lease. However, it is under duress that I am re-signed leases because, although I like the apartment and I LOVE its location (balcony faces a pond and a beautiful tree full of singing birds, quacking ducks, screeching geese (and I don’t mind those sounds) I unequivocally detest the noise my neighbors make.

At 12:44 am music blaring, at 2:05 am and the music is turned down but the bumping bass is still rattling and reverberating throughout each and every wall of the master bedroom, living room and kitchen. My only recourse is to try to sleep in my Office which is not really set up for sleeping. Usually I resort to medication because once my brain is activated in the middle of sleep, it is very, very, near to impossible to shut it up, too.

I considered moving to a senior community, except I don’t qualify. 

I would love going to a Grad Student Housing apartment community, but I don’t qualify.

I cannot find a single family house that I want to pay so much for.

I am now considering going back to being a homeowner. For my own peace of mind even though it would be difficult to tackle all those weekend maintenance chores on my own. It would be a burden having to pay someone else to do them.

It would be simple to solve this problem though if every apartment community was required to set aside one building devoted to the Quiet Person. You know that person – he works all the time, doesn’t practice a musical instrument for hours at a time, is not hosting rock concerts in his living room every night or every weekend, and pretty much sticks to saying “Hello” and “Have a nice day!” whenever interacting with the immediate neighbors as he delivers his rent check on or before the first of every month. Yes, having that kind of rental opportunity would definitely make me a lifelong renter for the rest of my life.