When was the first time you realized you were more than someone who manages a group, that you could call yourself a leader? For me, that moment occurred in college. I was the Student Government President with no true experience at leading an organization with a true purpose. Oh, sure, I was Club President of any number of supplemental activities in high school but none of those counted where it really mattered, except that they taught me how to lead a meeting, set a goal, gather ideas and come to a consensus, the basics. In high school, though, you have your Teacher Sponsor; you weren’t on your own testing the waters of democracy. The biggest event I ever spearheaded was a Spaghetti Dinner for the Latin Club (yes, I was one of those smart girls who took Latin.)
In college, when I realized that my freshman tuition scholarship was only good for my freshman year, I went panicked to the Dean and asked how I was supposed to get through the rest of my years? He suggested I run for Student Government President as this provided a full ride and it was now too late to apply for any other scholarships. I remember telling my “who couldn’t care less” family I was going to run for election. My much older brothers rolled their eyes and said, “Sure you are. Good luck with that.” THEY knew this would be a stretch for shy, quiet, melt into the walls me. But I did it somehow and this paid for college.
Cut to the chase. Because I was super shy, I never went to high school dances and had no idea how to plan them, book a band, secure a venue, etc. I figured I did not have to know about this kind of stuff since all the rest of the Officers and members all had wonderful social skills and had attended enough dances to last all our lifetimes. They came up with the theme, we discussed the budget, got decorations and booked a band, printed and sold out the tickets and the arrangements fell into place perfectly. Since my boyfriend was working that evening, I didn’t think it would be a big deal to not go.
“You aren’t going?” the members of the Planning Committee asked incredulously. I explained that I was not but I had every confidence that they could pull it off without a hitch. As it turned out, there were a number of problems that night: with the venue, the menu and the band. Without the “person in charge” there representing the face of the College, it was a disaster. No one wanted to take charge. Everyone was upset. Finally somebody gave a couple of directions and approved a change to the menu, but it was stressful and it angered all the Officers.
That Monday we were meeting with the Advisor early in the morning. I was about the last to arrive, and not suspecting there had been any problems came into the room happy and bubbling. In a single instance, the room turned on me and my joy was quickly deflated. I asked what was wrong and several people all started yelling at once that I had let them down and this happened and that happened and no one could have a good time because the Manager at the Country Club where the dance took place was rude, changed the menu and overcharged them. I listened and remained dumbfounded. I could not get it through my head why they were so angry.
Our Advisor looked at me and seeing my confusion said, “Mindy, don’t you understand? You are the President and you were the only one who really had the power to talk to the Manager and you weren’t there. You did not handle things. They were depending on you.”
“And I let you guys down.” It never dawned on me that I was being counted on to fix things, to take charge should a problem occur, to be reliable. I assumed that with their experience any one of the others could handle any problem. Somehow I failed to see that I could not lead them if I was not there. My being present in the moment was important to the success of the organization. Right or wrong, a leader has to at least show up. This was one of the best lessons I ever learned, and it was the first time I took to heart that to be a leader, you need to calmly direct your team through incoming turmoil and get over the pitfalls. To do this, you must be present and engaged.
I was able to go back to the Manager and negotiate the price back to the contracted price, get a refund and I let him know that just because I was eighteen, I was not without the ability to think through the terms of the contract. I also quickly pointed out that he acted in a less than professional way and he needed to apologize to my other Officers. It was a nice touch at our next meeting when I could read a letter of apology to them from that Manager. Yes, leaders must show up and they must follow up as needed. Leaders must put the needs of the team ahead of their pride (and their ignorance) and produce results. Yes, I learned a lot from that position and I am grateful to my team for being patient and giving me the feedback I needed to learn.
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