Time To Start Believing In Yourself

When I was living in Grand Rapids, Michigan I was like a lot of young mothers whose friends were the other mothers of our children’s classmates we met and bonded with at PTA meetings, field trips and room mother assignments. Chances are you may still be in touch with these other kindred spirits. One of these mothers who became one of my most cherished friends was named Louise. She and her husband were raising three children, two of which were the same ages as my two.

Louise, at that time, was studying to be a teacher and had just gotten through her student teaching phase when I moved – again. Over the next few months of my settling in to a new town, getting my oldest situated in a new school, decorating a new house – you know – life, Louise was hired for her first teaching assignment: Fifth Grade at an inner city school. Like most first year teachers everything was stressful. Her class contained students who wanted to be anywhere than there in a classroom; her principal was obnoxious and hard to deal with and expected more than any one person could deliver. After a few months, Louise noticed that on her drive in to school, her stomach was hurting. Soon she would become nauseated and would vomit each morning, even before the drive.

Ever helpful, I offered, “Maybe you’re pregnant?”

No, that wasn’t it. She went to her doctor and he diagnosed stress as the culprit. I shook my head while we were talking on the phone. “I don’t know, Louise. You’ve never been like that before and having three kids can be pretty stressful!”

Long story short, Louise agreed. She kept going back to her doctor and finally, after the umpteenth visit, he ran some basic tests. She had a CT scan and it revealed a huge tumor in her abdomen. It was cancer. She began treatments. Her persistence in her belief that it was not all in her head, as some had told her, led to the diagnosis and eventual treatment that saved her life.

I kind of marveled at her tenacity! If it had been me, I am sure at that time in my life, I would have discounted that little voice telling me something really was wrong. But Louise did not ignore it. She pursued it. It makes me wonder, still, do we feel confident in our beliefs? Do we ride that tide of belief in our decision-making processes? How easily do we throw in the towel and surrender?

I have tried to embrace Louise’s level of self assuredness in my profession. I want to project a confidence that comes with knowing and believing in what I am doing. After all, if I don’t believe in my community and all it has to offer its Residents, how can I convey to them my joy that this is the place to call home? I know this starts with me and my ability to communicate my love for this community as home. It always starts with one and that one is me.